Sometime last year, I remember walking past two teenage boys when I overheard one say something that got me pissed. One of the boys laughed and said out loud, “she get big breasts”. Let me pause to say that there is nothing wrong with noticing features you find attractive on a person but there is a point where one begins to wonder if all is well with some people. So when I heard that baby boy say those words (which I’m certain he wanted me to hear), I felt like taking off my shoe and throwing it at his immature head. But I decided to let it slide.
You see, there was a time when the above statement would have made me hunch my back in shame because I felt that part of my body was just…what’s the word? …shameful. When I was younger, I remember moving about with a cloud of shame over my head because I thought my body was causing people to lust. I believed that if the sight of my well covered breasts caused someone to sin then my breasts must be bad. Those days, I would wear bogus cloths and use only powder and lip gloss as my makeup. I was trying my best not to cause my neighbor to sin and I was certain that Jesus was extremely pleased with my “selfless action”.
Something happened one day that began to rewire my naïve mind. I went to a certain federal organization to see someone and I did my best to look “modest”. I wore a long skirt that was nearly sweeping the ground, a bogus top and my hair was packed in a bun; in short I believe I looked like a nun.
As I was leaving the building, a wealthy looking elderly man with several people flanked about him stopped me. He gave me an I-want-to-eat-you kinda grin then said, “As I saw you, I just liked what I saw”. He then whipped out his complimentary card and handed it to me, asking me to call him if I needed anything. That day I became weak. I slowly began to realize that if a man wants to be a perv you don’t have to look the part to awaken his demons.
My dear, dressing shabbily in black, brown and shades of gray would NEVER stop lustful people from being who they are. Religious folks make you feel your body is dangerous and a sneer to sin but they forget it was God who made it in the first place. Let me ask; are we only sexual object that are to be ogled at and lusted for? This kind of thinking support and excuses a rape culture.
God was intentional about creating the female body. He didn’t close his eyes when he created boobs or look away when he created Eve’s butt. No! He made each curve with his eyes wide open and called it beautiful. When would you realize there’s nothing to be ashamed of in your body, no matter how big or small?
People would still ogle at your boobs and they’ll still whistle at your butt when you walk by. Pay them no heed. Simply because people notice your features shouldn’t make you look at those parts of your body with shame. Thank. God. For. Your. Body. God thinks it beautiful and VERY holy sef. Agree with him on that.
On the issue of lust…
Jesus placed the burden of guilt on the one who practices lust. He said if a man looks at a woman lustfully he is the one that committed the sin, he said nothing of the woman “causing” the lust. Jesus understands humanity; he knew that even if every female on the planet were to cover themselves from head to toe, people would still lust. He said if your eyes causes you to sin, pluck it out! He said nothing about cutting down the person that made your eyes sin. Hypocritical people love throwing the blame of their short comings on others.
Guys are distracted by several things. What if it’s your fingers that are “causing him to lust”? Huh? You’re gonna wear gloves?! Why not just cut it off to make the process easier?
There would always be females who would dress very VERY revealing; who knows, maybe in the near future they’ll start trotting about naked. What are we going to do then? Make more stringent laws, hide in a hole or simply trust God to help us with our eyes? Sexual contents would keep being thrown at our faces, the answer is never to make well-meaning girls feel ashamed of their bodies.
Too big or too sexy? Young woman, it’s not your fault. You didn’t create yourself. Thank God for body and take good care of it. Our bodies are works of art and our God is the artist. Celebrate your body. Thank the Master Artist for doing such a great job.
My advice is to wear clothes that flatter not clutter. Dress in a way that emphasizes your beauty and step out looking like a star that you are. Oh, I believe beyond a shadow of doubt that our bodies glorify God. Dress with respect and dignity for yourself and not for others. Biko do not dress the way you do because you are ashamed of any part of your body. It’s not your duty to help others not to sin because they’ll still sin anyway. Let who you are inside shine. Selah.
Feel free to share your views… 🙂